Recently I have been wondering how to make my cat love me again.

We had an altercation the other day, and now she is running away from me.

I knew I had to do something quickly because I love her for how cuddly she gets.

So I turned to a cat behavior consultant, and this is what I learned.

Why Doesn’t My Cat Love Me Anymore?

cat being grumpy

Cats are mysterious, and like humans, they have their preferences and dislikes. However, the good news is that your feline companion does not hold grudges, and you can win their love again with a little effort.

According to cat behaviorist Marilyn Krieger, “a cat will draw away from you because of your behavior toward them.” (1)

This can make you think about if you used to lie on the bed together, and now she won’t, you will ask yourself, ”why does my cat sleep away from me?”

It could be you are a heavy sleeper, and you fidget in your sleep, often waking your kitty up, pushing her off the bed, or putting your weight on her. Imagine yourself sleeping next to a person that tosses and turns.

 What an uncomfortable night! Now put yourself in the cats’ shoes.

It also could be you shouted at your kitty or made her do something she did not want. By trying to control your cat, you only hurt its feelings and give it a reason to be mad.

If you’ve related to this video, then you may need to carry on reading.

@payburke Yo… I’m done with the attitude #catsoftiktok #cat #foryou #TrulyGlowingSelfieLove ♬ Jake25.17 sound – 🦋Olivia🦋

ALSO CHECK: How Do I Get My Cat to Sleep With Me?

6 Ways To Win Your Cat’s Love & Trust Again

How do I get my cat to love me? Even after a misunderstanding, you can have your furry friend eating from your hand and following you within no time. However, you must do a number of things to help win back their affection.

Cat owners (humans) and cats have different body languages, so you have to understand your kitty’s personality. Here are ways you can get your cat’s love and trust back.

#1 Initiate Playtimes

carrying a cat

According to Marci Koski of Feline Behavior Solutions, there is no better way to make a cat trust you than by initiating playtime. (2) While most cat owners like to keep their cats occupied with indoor toys, a human presence works magic.

Fish pole type toys, with dangling feathers, are a great choice. These toys initiate yourkitty’s predatory behavior of pouncing and attacking. 

During play, you can let the feline catch the toy as a reward for their effort. However,  don’t force this interaction. Leave the kitty alone if it does not want to play.

#2 Have a Treat

Giving your cat a treat will get them to trust and want you more. However, use treats sparingly since some cats are not motivated by the mere sight of food.

According to a report from science direct, cats will typically prefer human interaction over treats and toys. (3) You can use a treat when you want to draw a shy kitty closer or as a token of appreciation after a positive interaction.

Make sure to use a treat they like, so do some testing to find out what your cat likes. Treats that are usually popular with cats include cheese, pieces of chicken, and tuna flakes according to Marci Koski. (2)

#3 Reconsider Your Voice

pressing a cat near the face

A high-pitched or baby voice is appealing to some animals, like dogs. However, this voice pitch does not work well with cats.

These furry friends will quickly sense signs of fear or intimidation in the tone of your voice. According to Marci Koski, a cat training consultant, “make yourself less intimidating and interact with the cat at their level.” (2)

Ideally, consider your cat like a nervous child you are trying to comfort. How to show your cat you love them is using a calm voice is reassuring and it will make your cat feel safe and loved around you.

#4 Offer Gentle Touches/Petting

petting a cat

Kitties are sensitive to touch and will crave gentle interactions by rubbing, purring, or laying on their back. According to a study published in Anthrozoös, cats have a positive reaction when petted in their temporal region, the area between the head and ears. (4)

However, they react differently to petting on the tail, chin, lips, and non-gland areas. As this study suggests, cats have different parts they want you to touch, so be on the lookout for how they are responding.

If they appear more relaxed, they are comfortable with you, and you should continue. However, if you notice petting-induced aggression, it is time to stop or pet an area your cat prefers.

#5 Let the Cat Initiate

A common mistake people make is to advance toward a cat at first sight. While the intention is well-meaning, cats can get a mixed message and see this as a confrontation. This is especially relevant when a person is meeting a cat for the first time.

Since cats are born predators, their instinct will be to protect themselves by showing aggression or hissing. As Amelia Wieber explains in the video below, the proper way of approaching a kitty is the cat-to-cat nose greeting and letting it headbutt you.

Ideally, extend your finger toward the cat and remain still. If the cat is interested, it will walk over, sniff and either back away or move closer.

#6 Give the Cat Space

cat sitting calmly

As mentioned above, cats hate any aggressive body language towards them. Remember, you had a misunderstanding with your pet, and they are mad at you.

Cat body language indicators telling you to back off include:

  • Twitching their tails
  • Staring at your hand
  • Growling and hissing
  • Flattening the ears

Ideally, be patient, concentrate on other things, and let your cat come to you, as suggested in a recent research report.  (5)

This report further suggested this as the reason cats get attracted to people who are allergic to them, as they act disinterested, sparking curiosity within the cat

One way to provide your cat with space is to provide a cat tree or cardboard box. These give the cat a place it can escape to where you can’t get into its personal space.

They also provide the kitties with a cozy place for some alone time.

READ MORE: Why does my cat wake me up so early?

How Do I Know If My Cat is Happy Again?

So, does my cat love me back? As mentioned earlier, a cat won’t hold a grudge against you. If you do the above tips, you are guaranteed to win your kitty’s attention.

However, note that cats have a good memory and it can take time to get acquainted with you again. You will know your cat is happy when it spends more time around you, and lets you hold, pat, and hug them.

Another sign of happiness is when the cat lays on its back with its tummy exposed for you to pet. However, note how it responds to specific touches to avoid spooking them.

Here are some additional signs your cat loves you and is happy again, check them out!

@neat.caroline How to tell if your cat is happy! 😻 #cattips #cathacks #catsoftiktok #catlover #fyp #learnontiktok #hometips #cattok ♬ original sound – Neat Caroline

Will My Cat Ever Trust Me Again?

Yes, your cat will trust and love you again. Cats show their trust and love in various ways, and you will quickly learn your pet’s signs.

However, as you regain trust, avoid any misunderstanding that will lead to the previous situation. 

As you carry on with a consistent routine, your cat will feel secure around you. 

Here are some more tips about how to gain a cat’s trust.


Do cats get more cuddly with age?

That depends on the nature of the cat in question since each animal has unique preferences. While some adult cats become more open to social interaction, others will remain independent and crave less attention.

Why does my cat run away from me?

cats running away

Your cat might run away from you for various reasons, including being heat, fear, anxiety, past mistreatment, or moving to a new home.

Why does my kitty get clingy all of a sudden?

A cat can get clingy out of nowhere for two reasons: they are spooked or have a health condition. It is up to the cat owners to learn their cats’ language and attend to their needs.

Why does the cat love everyone else in the household apart from me?

girl being worried

When living with multiple humans under one roof, cats generally choose to love one favorite human. Their selection process is unpredictable, but they tend to show a preference toward the person showing them affection.

How can I tell my cat is scared of me?

A scared cat widens its eye pupils, swishes its tail, or tucks it between its legs. You can also expect some hissing, sprinting away, and staying in a crouched body position, ready to pounce.

How to make a cat feel loved?

holding a cat by the face

You can make a cat feel loved by playing and giving attention. Also, provide toys and spaces they can spend time alone if they want.


Cats are friendly and mystical creatures of habit. A cat can become aloof toward you for various reasons, but it can become affectionate again with the proper attention.

As a cat owner, note that your cat expresses themselves using body language, so it is essential to understand them. If you recently had a misunderstanding with your furry friend, the above six ways to win back your cat’s affection should come in handy.

Why Doesn't My Cat Love Me Anymore

Have you found a solution on how to make your cat love you again? Let us know what you think down below!


  1. “The Cat Coach | Cat Behaviorist | Cat Training by Marilyn Krieger.”, Accessed 29 May 2022.
  2. “How to Build Your Cat’s Trust.” Feline Behavior Solutions – Cat Behavior Consultant, 24 Mar. 2017,
  3. “Social Interaction, Food, Scent or Toys? A Formal Assessment of Domestic Pet and Shelter Cat (Felis Silvestris Catus) Preferences.” Behavioural Processes, vol. 141, 2017, pp. 322–328,, 10.1016/j.beproc.2017.03.016.
  4. Soennichsen, Susan, and Arnold S. Chamove. “Responses of Cats to Petting by Humans.” Anthrozoös, vol. 15, no. 3, Sept. 2002, pp. 258–265, 10.2752/089279302786992577. Accessed 23 Apr. 2020.
  5. Mertens, Claudia. “Human-Cat Interactions in the Home Setting.” Anthrozoös, vol. 4, no. 4, Dec. 1991, pp. 214–231, 10.2752/089279391787057062.
Deana Tucker
Deana Tucker

Deanna is a passionate cat lover and freelance writer. She lives with her Chi dog and a ragdoll cat. When she’s not writing, Deanna loves listening to country music or watching Dancing With The Stars.