Last Updated: 5 months ago
Wondering how to get your cat to let you hold her?
We’ve got you covered with our guide for encouraging kitty snuggles!
This force-free method respects their independence while also helping you get those cat cuddles you’re craving.
Read on to find out how to hold a cat!
How to Teach Your Cat to Let You Hold Her
It’s a popular consensus that cats are independent animals. This would probably explain why they aren’t fans of being held and picked up.
In their minds, they were going about minding their own business, and to have you come over and aggressively pick them up is disruptive.
If you are a cuddler and want to share a snuggle with your furry feline friend, there could be a way to turn her into a lap cat that likes being held.
While cats take pride in their solidarity, deep down, they do love you. So with the proper steps, your cat can get accustomed to being held.
1. Create a Safe and Soothing Environment
Make sure nothing in the vicinity could scare or distract your cat. Cats are very sensitive and alert; therefore, they don’t take too kindly to sudden noises.
Turn your phone off, mute the TV, and head into a room with more privacy—these are all steps you can take to create the right atmosphere to relax your cat.
This is only required in the beginning, when you are lap-training your cat.
As time passes and they open up to cuddling and eventually being held, turning off every ringer in the house won’t be necessary.
2. Play Hard to Get
A major difference between cats and dogs is that cats take their sweet time.
They do things according to their own timeline and would rather not be forced into giving affection.
You need her to want to be near you, sidle up next to you, and not force it out of her.
Find a spot where your cat frequents or enjoys an afternoon nap. Get into a comfortable position and take part in a quiet activity.
Reading, drawing, or even attempting to catch a few winks yourself could draw your cat to you.
Remember, do not chase. When your cat decides it’s time to leave your comfy embrace, let her.
3. Positive Reinforcement
This does the trick with most pets and even small children.
Strengthen your bond by providing positive reinforcement in the form of words, treats, or actions.
Hand them a treat after they’ve come over and settled in your lap. Certain scents and incentives, like catnip, could entice your cat to come over.
After they have positioned themselves comfortably, rub them in a way they like.
To hold your cat, start with small movements like a pat on the head or a rub under the belly to gently coax them into your arms.
4. Know How to Properly Hold a Cat
The best way to approach your feline is from either side.
Your loving hug may seem like an ambush from behind or too aggressive and head-on from the front.
Pet her a little bit to assess her mood. If she is feeling grouchy, pick another time for snuggles.
Always approach her with a gentle demeanor. When you exude a certain sense of tranquility and peace, it can calm the most anxious of cats.
Slowly place one hand under her chest and the other under her belly. This supports your cat’s entire body.
Once you have her lifted and securely in place, slip a hand under her hind legs and bottom to give her stability.
Cradle her gently and make sure there is a lot of body contact.
5. Know Your Cat
Different cats may prefer different positions.
Some may prefer to face away from you; some may like to be cradled like a baby; while others may want to have their torso against your chest.
Figure out what your feline likes, and don’t worry; she will give you plenty of clear indications.
6. Don’t Force It
This part is a reminder of its utmost importance. Let your cat dictate the terms of the cuddle.
When you notice her starting to get antsy, squirmy, and trying to escape, then its time to set her down.
Do not hold her against her will. This will make your cat associate being held with being restrained, and it will put her off any future attempts.
Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by holding on. Gently place the cat down, the keyword being gently.
Do not drop her from your standing position or let go suddenly. Support her weight and put her down carefully.
However, if she attempts to leap out of your grasp, you need to be ready for that as well.
7. Do Not Hold Her by the Scruff of Her Neck
Their mothers do it, but only up to a certain age.
When cats are over three months old, they will be too heavy to be lifted by only the skin of their necks, and it could cause long-term muscle damage.
Sometimes holding the scruff of their necks is necessary when trying to assert control, such as when taking certain medications, but never lift them by this area.
Wrap-Up
We all want to strengthen the bond between our cat cuddle buddies through physical affection.
While dogs may welcome it at any time of the day, their feline counterparts are usually more averse to forced intimacy.
The key is to make your cat feel comfortable and give them the freedom to come to you at their own pace.
Did you try any of these tips to get your cat to let you hold her? Share your experiences below!
Olfa knows how to get things done and has a keen business sense that others admire. She’s always on the go, coming up with new ideas! Her ability to anticipate the needs of her readers and deliver information that they want is what makes CatVills such a success. She loves cuddling her cat Picaciu. He is her inspiration.
I’ve tried all your ideas and she is still not cuddly.She used to sleep with me , but as far from me as possible. Why???
I’m so sorry our ideas didn’t work for you. Some cats just don’t like to be held, no matter what we do to convince them that snuggles are fun. I currently have two cats (although I’ve had up to 5 at once), and their personalities are like night and day. My Alex, he loves being held non-stop, to the point that I think I need a baby sling for him some days! My Zoe doesn’t like being held at all, and she even hissed at me the other day when I picked her up to give her a closer look at birds out the window. She likes being pet, but only on her terms. Yet Zoe will sleep near me (not right next to me, mind you) but Alex has never once slept anywhere near a human. If you’ve tried everything, take comfort in the fact that it really isn’t you, it’s them. 🙂 In other words, it’s nothing that you’re doing wrong. Do you know your cat’s breed? I ask because some breeds are more aloof.
I just lost my Felix two weeks ago. Even though my heart is broken, I remember how if He wanted me to hold him he would sit and wait patiently until I would stop what I was doing and sit down. Then he would put himself in my arms and is rock him like a baby. That was our time. I miss him so much and there will never be another Felix. But the time we had with him I would treasure forever.
We have 8 feral cats that we trapped and keep indoors. A few are cuddlers, some like to be pet and gently scratched, but one beautiful pitch black neutered male would run when anyone entered the room where he was. At feeding time he would eat, but kept an eye on anyone nearby. After 9 years, a miracle happened. One day as I approached him, he did not run. I took my time and gently let him sniff my hand. As soon as I moved my hand he got up and walked away, but did not run. Each day we made some progress. After only a few weeks everyone in our house, (There are 5 of us, all adults.) were able to touch him. It is a couple months since that first successful attempt, and he is curled up next to me and purring as I type this. We still cannot pick him up, but we are thrilled at the change in him. We frequently tell him, “Binks do you realise you could have been enjoying this for the past 9 years!) My reason for this long comment, is to let folks know that miracles do happen, so don’t give up.